he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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