My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
no you cant smoke seaweed
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
