so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
