the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Sober January is a disaster.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize