Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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