16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
