Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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