I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
