garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Are we in a gay sports bar?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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