She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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