i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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