Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
