I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
You smell like stripper and shame
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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