she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
