drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
