Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
