I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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