I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
