We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
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