I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize