I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
