We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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