There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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