We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I have fence marks all over my body
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
The air taste purple.
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