i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I see more hoeing in ur future
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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