There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
