the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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