Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
