Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
