apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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