wat bout pragnant strippers??
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
