soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize