In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
