omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
