hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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