i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
You brought string cheese to the strip club
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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