I wanna bring you to show and tell
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
