This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
