I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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