you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
