I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize