She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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