What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
