i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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