I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
