why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize
