i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
