drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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