Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I love having hate sex.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize