their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
