while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
