$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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