I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
