420 ftw
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize