she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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