i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
