I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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