let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
