So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
