White coat. Heels.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
