You're completely useless in the revolution.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
