Life is so much better after having sex.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
