By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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