Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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