I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
