All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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