Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
No subtext here. People are naked.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
