Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
