take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
