well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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