I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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