No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I think people are normalizing furries
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
